The Realisation
by Mazi77
Summary: This is the unseen bits from Carmilla between episodes 34, 35, and 36


_**THE REALISATION**_

Laura's nerves were beginning to waver, in front of her stood the biggest vampire she could never imagine ever. Eyes burning deep into her soul, showing a hunger that she could not begin to understand. This thing was craving her! Well her blood at least!

'It's me or you' she thought to herself. It was the battle-cry that her body needed to get it moving into action. She raised the sword in her hand up high and started swinging it in the direction of the monster.

So frenzied were her movements Laura never realised that she had her eyes closed, until she felt her arms and her sword connect to something solid. Her eyes shooting open wide she looked at the sight in front of her. Her sword had connected with the vampire. Well it had connected Okish, it had gone halfway through the vamps neck, the vamp was jerking and twisting thus making the blade go deeper into its neck.

Suddenly there was a loud pop and the vamps head lolled to the left, the body collapsing and bursting into flames.

"OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!" was all that came out of Laura's mouth. For all of her bravado around her friends, she was just a big softy really.

Looking around her she could see Danny (her crush) battling some creature, it looked like some sort of big cat. La-Fontaine was protecting Perry, that was the wrestler in her, but Perry was running towards her. Laura also saw Kirsch running in the direction of the Gym. Where was Carmilla? She was sure that she was there when they all started running, now she just seemed to have disappeared.

'Oh God I hope someone hasn't killed her' Laura thought absently to herself, but she couldn't help but worry. They had been room-mates this last term and for all the bad things that had gone on, Laura still felt fond of this beautiful vampire that she now had come to like.

"LAURA" A shout came from nowhere "LAURA RUUUUUUN!"

Laura couldn't move, she was rooted to the spot. Fear spread all over her as the figure of a tall elegant woman seemed to glide towards her. Looking hard she could see that it was the Dean of the University, Carmilla's mother.

"LAURAA!" More than one voice was shouting now but still she couldn't move. It's not like she wasn't trying to, it was like she was just stuck in place.

Out of nowhere a big black cat came running towards Laura. There was something familiar about the way that it was moving, a slow controlled movement if you could say that about something moving at break neck speed. Laura closed her eyes and started apologising for everything bad she had ever done. She found herself apologising for the way she had behaved towards Carmilla when she had moved into the dorm after Betty had disappeared. Yes she had bad habits like everyone does but Laura had really taken them to heart after the controlled and organised presence of Betty.

Laura wanted to open her eyes but she couldn't, suddenly she felt herself being lifted off the ground. Crying out in pain Laura forced herself to look at the scene upon her, but she couldn't see anything, she heard a lot of shouting and then cheers but couldn't see anything at all.

"Sorry Cupcake" She heard as she landed.

"What the..." Suddenly Danny was hugging her

"Laura I'm so glad you are OK. I thought she had got you" Danny cried.

"Huh!" was all that Laura could reply.

Danny was the one person that she thought that she would want to have this close, but it actually bothered her. She didn't want this tall, beautiful woman near her. She didn't want anyone near her whilst she felt this confused. She was feeling something that she had managed to push to the back of her mind so many times because she didn't want to believe it.

'No Laura it's just the emotion from the battle. Don't be stupid you fool.' she told herself.

She let Kirsch and Danny walk her back to her room where everyone else was there. Laura looked around the room.

"where's Carmilla?" She asked.

No body would look at her. Then Danny came over and put an arm round her.

"I'm sorry Laura, we couldn't find her so we have to assume that she is dead."

"No No No No No NO! You're all lying to me. Carmilla cannot be dead she is stronger than all of us put together and faster still." then the tears came.

No-one would speak up. Laura turned round to face her computer and switched on her camera and began speaking (episode 35).

Everyone left the dorm room and Laura looked at the empty side of the room. Slowly she stood up and walked over and then sat on the bed. She picked up her pillow of Carmilla's own thin pillow. She put her own down and held the other one close to her. Wearily she lay down on the bed, she didn't want to sleep but tiredness took over her body.

Crying Laura could see Carmilla. She saw her change into the big black cat that she had seen running towards her.

"It's all OK for now cutie, don't be upset everything is just fine." Carmilla said to her.

"Oh Carmilla I was so mean to you. I didn't mean to be but I was. Please forgive me I'm so sorry." Laura replied.

Suddenly Laura woke up. Disappointment ran through her. 'It was just a dream' she thought as she sat herself up and found herself holding onto Carmilla's pillow once again. Standing up she went over to the kettle and switched it on. She found out her T.A.R.D.I.S mug and started to make herself a hot chocolate. Going into the fridge to get the milk she absently picked up the soy milk carton. She was just about to pour it when she looked and stopped mid lift.

'Oh Carmilla you are everywhere around me, maybe that's a sign that I should never forget you, not that I could anyway!' she thought.

Going back over to her desk she switched her computer on, whilst she waited for it to boot up she spotted the bat wing charm that Carm had given her when she had told her about her dreams. It looked horrible but it was the first really nice thing that Carm had done for her after meeting. Laura put it on her wrist hoping to have that closeness again.

Clicking on her blog videos she began to watch back from when she met Carm. She had never noticed before just how beautiful and elegant this woman was. Yes she was a vampire and yes she was over 300 years old but she was Laura's vampire, she was the reason that Laura was still alive. She was the reason that Laura was so completely and utterly in love.

She clicked on a little file she hadn't noticed before.

"Well Cupcake your not the only one who knows how to document things. If you are seeing this then we obviously won and you are sat back in the dorm and I am buried god knows where at my Maman's say so.

Well lets cut to the chase cupcake. You were stupid to try and fight this war but I understand why you are. I am going to get that sword for you and try and help all I can. Not to say I agree with what you are doing but hey my hearts ruling my head on this one!

I just want you to know that well you know the same as what you meant at the end of your video before you went off to fight. Well I am going to sign off now because I really hate this thing but because its your thing I put up with it. Bye cutie" Carmilla said through the computer.

Laura was in tears she couldn't believe what she had just heard. She just wished that she knew all of this before. She kinda knew that Carmilla liked her but didn't realise just how much. The tears fell easily as Perry walked in the room.

"Laura honey what's wrong?" She asked her friend.

"Car Car Car" was all that Laura could manage to say.

Perry hugged her friend and tried to take the pain away for her, but she knew she couldn't it would take more than this to take away the pain of heartbreak.

Laura sniffled and moved away from Perry. She pointed to the computer and Perry played the video, even she couldn't stop tears from falling.

"Oh Laura."

Laura just nodded feeling that if she had said anything she would burst into tears again. Perry began moving around the room.

"Laura you know that they are sending Betty back into the room in a couple of days once she has been released from hospital. I know its gonna be hard but you will have to move all of Carmilla's stuff out. And I'm sure you would rather do it than some stranger coming in and doing it."

Laura nodded she didn't want to think about it just yet. She had her Lit exam to do today and make sure everyone who helped in the battle was OK. She had to keep herself busy. Switching off her computer.

"Perry can you give me some time, I need to shower and get prepared for my exam. I just have to carry on, no matter how much it hurts."

Perry nodded as she left the room, Laura went to the bathroom and showered, she had to focus on her tests. It didn't matter how much she was hurting she knew she had to move on with her life. No matter how much she hurt. Carmilla would fade in her mind. Thinking this actually bothered her. She didn't want to forget Carmilla ever. In the short time that they had known each other she felt closer to her than she had any of her friends. Thinking of not knowing her broke her heart that little bit more.

Laura dressed she picked up one of Carmilla's tee's and decided she would put it on under one of her usual shirts. She wanted to feel close to her love. She wanted to smell Carmilla close to her. Going to the fridge she picked up the carton of "soy milk" and just looked at it. She couldn't bear the thought that soon Betty would be back in the room and all trace of Carmilla would be wiped out. Betty was more OCD about cleanliness than she was.

Laura shook herself off silently, and went off to class, she really didn't want to but she knew she had to else she would flunk out and disappoint her dad which she didn't want to do. She didn't think that she could cope with any more negativity.

A few hours later, Laura returned to her dorm. There was something different about it. She pushed it to the back of her head and put the kettle on. She turned to look at the room and it hit her what was different. Her laptop was shut, she hadn't had it shut and switched off in months! She went over to it and touched the top. It was cold, she couldn't even remember switching it off?

Laura then remembered that Perry had been in her room this morning and she was hovering around the desk for a bit so maybe she had switched it off. Laura was tempted to switch it back on but couldn't face the video of Carm popping up.

After making her drink Laura went and sat on Carm's bed again. She started hugging the pillow again. "Oh Carm, I miss you so much! I just want you back here!" She spoke out into the room.

"I am here Cupcake." Laura shot up in shock. It was nothing more than a slight whisper but she heard it!

Suddenly the room and ground started shaking. Laura ran to the door frame thinking it was an earthquake. But no sooner had it started than it finished. A few second later La Fontaine ran into the room.

"Laura did you feel that? That's the third or fourth time it's happened since the battle. Do you want to come with me to the Ludwig Building to get some soil samples see if anything has happened to the area since we pushed hell back into the ground?" La Fontaine rambled excitedly.

"Sorry LaF but I'm really not in the mood to do anything." Laura replied.

"Oh OK Laura, but just so you know, we as your friends are here for you. Danny is in pieces because she feels she should have done more for you. You know she really REALLY likes you still. She was sat with me and Lola last night and all she wanted to do was come and comfort you. We had to stop her because we thought it was the wrong time."

"I don't want to see her just now LaF, I really don't want to see anyone but I know if I don't let you or Lola in you will just walk in anyway. Today being the prime example. But Danny I don't want her here just yet, I like her but not like, like her. My heart was stolen by a dead vampire who I am never going to see again and it is killing me from the inside out. I can't sleep unless there is something of hers close by. I don't want to wake up because I know she won't be there with her acidic, sarcastic comments, her amazing smile that melts my heart. Plus she will never call me cupcake or cutie again. I know it all sounds stupid but I miss her, and I never got to tell her how I felt about her!" Laura explained to her friend.

LaF nodded at Laura and left the room without speaking.

Laura went back to thinking about what had happened before LaF had come into the room. Shaking her head she dismissed the thought as her being over tired and wanting to hear things. She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes. Her thoughts took her back to when Carm had shown her the Waltz in the dorm, how she had pulled her so close that she could almost touch her lips with her own. How afterwards she had fallen onto the bed groaning "Worst crush ever". She also thought back to when they had captured Carmilla and she had admitted that she was a Vampire. That realisation hadn't shocked Laura, it was more of an affirmation of what she had thought about Carmilla. How after starving Carmilla she went into convulsions and Laura realised she couldn't let Carmilla die. Then she thought of how Carmilla had bitten her in an attempt to stop Will from telling her mother everything. The heartbreaking story of how Carmilla had became a Vampire and Laura had used the sock puppets to explain it on her had wished that she had been more understanding, and a bit more compassionate about that situation. But it was too late to apologise. Too late to do anything.

Laura had realised that she hadn't eaten in 2 days so she opened her eyes and realised she had actually fallen asleep and had been dreaming. It was the day Betty was coming back to the dorm, possibly only for a week or so until she could go to the University that she had actually wanted to go to. Laura looked in the cupboard but there was nothing she fancied eating, so she started to clean the kitchenette just for something to do to take her mind off things if only for an hour. Cleaning the kitchenette turned into making and tidying the sleeping area. Laura couldn't face cleaning the bathroom so she left it as it was. She looked at the clock on the wall and it said 5pm. She had been cleaning for 7 hours.

There came a knock at the door and Laura went to it. Betty stood there looking lost and confused but it was Betty none-the-less.

"Hey Betty, come in relax and I will make us a drink" Laura said

"Er OK" replied her friend.

Betty put her little hospitalbag on Carmilla's bed. A small pang of jealousy went through Laura. She had to shake off these feelings if she was going to carry on. She couldn't be jealous when the person involved was …... she couldn't even think the word let alone say it. Once she said it she knew it becamereal. She had said it before and it killed her inside and she had vowed not to say it again.

"Laura, my Mom is picking me up in a few days so I won't get too comfortable. So what was this new room-mate like that you had? The hospital told me that I was gone for a few months but it doesn't feel like that at all, it feels like I only saw you a few days ago. At least the room has been kept clean so that's good." Betty enthused.

"I would rather not talk about the room-mate that was here. It's a bit of a sore subject. It's a shame that you're going, means that I will have to have a new room-mate again!" Laura didn't mention the cleaning situation for fear of Betty getting her gloves on and scrubbing everything to within an inch of it's life as she did.

Betty lay down on her bed and closed her eyes, within minutes her breathing evened out and she was asleep.

'Lucky you being able to sleep like nothing happened, I wish I could just sleep like that!' thought Laura bitterly.

Laura went to sit at her desk and opened her laptop. She so wanted to turn it on. She sat staring at the blank screen for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was literally minutes before she finally pressed the power button. Laura fidgeted in her chair waiting for her computer to boot up.

After what felt like an hour she looked at her home screen, she looked for her vlog. As she clicked on the short cut icon she watched as all the files scrolled on the screen. She clicked on a specific date and saw it was the vlog where Carmilla had given her the bat wing charm, she watched and then went into the draw of her desk and pulled out the charm. It was the first nice thing that Carmilla had done for her and she had basically threw it back in her face. Still she smiled as she listened toCarmilaasay to her that she had to keep an air of mystery about her and Laura laughed at her own silly childish remark about Carmilla flirting with her.

Next she clicked on the vlog for when they were going to capture Carmilla. Laura smiled as she saw the way Carmilla had said that the way she looked was like a 'virgin sacrifice'. How she had pulled her close and had almost kissed her neck if it hadn't been for Danny running in. she smiled absently at the fact that Carmilla had looked so damn hot in her corset and leather pants, how naïve she had been not realising that Carmilla had been hitting on her.

Laura continued to watch through the vlogs, stopping at the one where she was possessed by Carmilla's mother. She remembered the hatred she felt towards Carmilla for letting her mother take Kirsch but now when she watched it she felt nothing but love because this woman was willing to do whatever it took to keep her safe.

Laura had spent the whole night watching the vlogs, looking at the time on her computer she saw that it was 6am, it was still dark so looked at her phone and saw that Danny had text her to let her know that she had passed her lit paper. Laura checked her e-mails she saw that her journalism professor had e-mailed her to let her know that she had got an A- on her project and the comment was that it would have been higher if not for the rushed look of finishing.

Well that made Laura feel a little better she had 2 less things to worry about.

Betty stirred and woke up.

"hey" she said to Laura.

"Morning" Laura replied.

Betty got up and went to the bathroom, Laura could hear her cursing about the state of the shower, Laura smiled to herself thinking about how she and Carmilla had argued about exactly the same thing so many times, and how Laura always seemed to lose the argument and end up having to clean the shower anyway.

Betty came out the bathroom and started to go through the wardrobe. Laura looked at the computer and switched on the camera and clicked on her vlog and started to speak... (episode 36)

_**EPILOGUE**_

Laura looked at Carmilla stood in front of her and all she could say was "So you're a giant black cat then?" and giggled.

Carmilla looked at her as if to say I'm back here and that's all you can ask? But as exasperated she was she laughed and motioned her hand from her face as if to say yeah I am.

All they could do was stare at each other as if seeing each other for the first time. They had kissed briefly a couple of times a few minutes before.

Carmilla put her hands on Laura's hips. "I really thought I would never see you again Cupcake, but the thought that I was dying to make sure you were OK gave me peace."

Laura wiped away a tear that had started to fall. "Hey Cupcake don't cry, there is no need for tears now. I'm here and not going anywhere, well you know!"

Laura looked up into this beautiful woman's eyes "Carm, I couldn't bear these last few days, it was like I was missing myself as well as you, I realised that it wasn't a crush that I had on you, I had fallen so deeply in love with you."

"Don't be so mushy Cupcake. To me you are something worth dying and living for and that's as mushy as I get." Carmilla said with a smile.

"I love you too Carm." Laura replied as she pulled Carmilla closer to her.

Looking at each other for what seemed forever Carmilla leaned forward and gently kissed Laura. Laura responded and they fell into a deep passionate kiss, tongues exploring each others mouth, Laura pulled apart breathing heavily. She had never been kissed like that before. Looking at Carmilla she couldn't see the heavy breathing she was encountering, then she remember that with Carmilla being a vampire she didn't need to breathe. Carmilla smiled at her and pulled her to the bed, they sat there and just looked at each other, not needing to say a word because their eyes said everything.

Laura suddenly stood up and walked over to the laptop.

"Hey what are you doing Cupcake get back here!" exclaimed Carmilla.

"Some things just don't need documenting" she smiled towards Carmilla and then turned back towards her laptop and switched it off. Turning back towards Carmilla she walked back over to the bed with a big smile spreading over her face.

THE END


End file.
